Femme on Fire

Dear Veronica

I know that we haven't seen much of each other lately, I'm often busy Tuesday nights. Then there was the time my roommate changed the channel while you were recording because he didn't yet fully understand the TiVo, and I haven't seen you at all since. But I wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear that you were cancelled. I'll never forget the good old days, when your pithy commentary of the daily stupidity you were forced to endure bore you through yet another day of crime solving and visions of your dead best friend. I'll think often of your wonderful detective/sherriff/detective/sherriff father who just has no game. I'll miss your man drama- is Duncan your brother? Did Logan cheat with a hooker? How many laws will I have to break to kidnap my boyfriend's baby and help him escape with her to Mexico? Those were good times, my friend, good times.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sure the future of fanfic holds big things for you, and I know I'll be seeing you on DVD. Please remember that even though I couldn't always be there for you the second things happened, I was always watching.

Your BFF,
Ariel

Changing Directions

Hey there, out there in internet land, I have something to tell you. When I started Femme on Fire roughly two years ago it was to keep my family and friends posted as I prepared to leave everything and everyone I had known on this continent and move to France, perhaps permenantly. I wanted a place where I could write about my experiences preparing to go and eventually living there. And while I was there I did that, I captured a part of my life that was so incredible and different from anything I had known and that I will always look back on as a bend in the road. I was also so glad to have you there reading and keeping up on my experiences.

Since I've been back I've tried to maintain this website to keep people posted on what I'm doing, but have not really discovered my voice for this site, or defined the role that it plays in my life. So, now is as good of a time to do that as any. Going forward this website will be dedicated to a Newsletter of sorts for my friends and family who I do not get to talk to often enough. Surprisingly, or not, that includes many of my best friends and loved ones who live right here in my city, but whom I rarely see because we are all so busy (and have you seen that traffic?)!

In the future this website will only have family appropriate content, but I feel I should define that. See, I mean my family. And what my family deems appropriate your family may not. In fact, what I deem is appropriate for my family, my family may not agree with, but I will try to keep the cussing to a minimum and I will only tell stories about drinking and dancing on tables when they are morally sound (just kidding, Grandad!).

If you want a larger window into what I like to call "shenanigans," please contact me and I will be happy to direct you to the appropriate venue. A post of the outlined nature is coming soon!

Transformation

Just when you think the sunburn's healed,
That's when the skin begins to peel.

The Highlights of Working from Home

Plenty of time for

Belly Rubs and

Crazy Action.

Marathon!

It's that time again! I wasn't sure I would be able to find a way to do a marathon this year. Florence last November nearly killed my running spirit, and unfortunately APLA, my favorite organization in the world, is only going there or Honolulu again. Gross to both. But then a Program Rep told me I could raise the money, train with the program, and go run wherever I like. Brilliant! So starting in May I'll be training for

{insert trumpets}

THE SEATTLE MARATHON!

I get to run a marathon (my 5th before I turn 30) AND go to Seattle. Awesome! Anyone want to come with me?

Good News

I found out today that I do NOT have tongue cancer! Yay! I have some advanced sdflkjekmdblurp, but it's totally harmless. He even said that it appears to have gotten better since last week! My lisp is also gone! Woohoo!

Waiting is never fun

I have stitches in my tongue, and a week until I get the results of my biopsy. But the doctor seemed really optimistic, and seemed to indicate that even if it was positive it wouldn't be too big of a deal. Shwoo!

Now to go pick up my vicodin prescription.

Testing 1 2 3

Tomorrow is it, the big day for the big C. I've nearly convinced myself it's true now, looking at pictures and reading about treatments. I really do resemble those pictures of the disease, so I pray that I'll be lucky enough to have it be easily removed with lasers, instead of surgery and radiation.

I worry all the time, but seldom that I will die. I think about what would happen if they took my tongue, if they removed the whole thing in surgery. I dated a guy in high school who had lost part of his as a child, but it was minor enough that it doesn't answer my fears now. Then I think about radiation. If it's on my tongue would it still make me sterile? I want to be a mother so badly, and while I know I could adopt, and would gladly do so, I would like to have my birth child just once. I wonder also if they did have to laser cauterize, how long until I heal? How long until I can pretend it never happened? And if I do pretend it never happened, will it just happen again?

I don't care if they wire my jaw shut, if they remove some of it. I just want to come through it stronger and more whole. I want to understand how I can prevent it in the future. I always thought that some people with cancer had really brought it on in a way. All I did was bite my tongue. I'm so scared.

Peeking out into Life

I feel like I'm back. The funny thing is, I have no idea how long I was away. But today I was singing along to the radio, on my way to meet friends for lunch with my newly dyed hair and excited about the day and I thought, "I'm back." So here I am. I am shiny, and fresh smelling, and raven haired as I should be. South Pacific was clearly written before hair dye was enormously popular, or we wouldn't just have been washing.

Today I bought three samples of paint for my bedroom at a Dunn Edwards store. I also received my new remote control, which I look forward to programming at home later, and my new curtains. Pretty soon my room is going to come together and I'm going to have to throw a bedroom party just to show it off. When I do, please remember to bring the Jonathan Adler sheets I requested, otherwise I will not admit you. Some would say that's a high price to pay for admission, but I throw a mean bedroom party. Actually, let's call it a boudoir. That's way more fun.

And get your minds out of the gutter.

Tonight after I return home and program the remote I really am truly going to write that ad for new roommates. I mean it. Really. I'm going to do it. Consider it done.

Also, please cross your fingers that I get the job I am up for that would move me back to the land of the daywalkers and insure that I get paid for the next two months.

Needful Things (Predominately a Picture Post)

The problem with having one of these

is that my number one financial priority is a lot of these

when what I really want to buy is one of these

so that I can watch TV in style until I have to go sleep on these (which I also want)

Then I can wake up and go visit her

here

then her (and a bunch of other people)

here

all the while buying a lot of these

And that's just the tip of this