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« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »

Greetings from the Future!

Ok, so this joke has a quickly approaching expiration date- in fact most of you will read it after it's gone bad- but right now I'm living in next year and you ain't here yet!

I just wanted to take a quick moment to tell you Happy New Year! My evening was completely and totally terrifically awesome. It required a lot of adjectives, and all of them good. I think if the superstitions about New Years Eve are true then this might very well be the best year of my life coming up ahead of us- and it's got pretty stiff competition from the last 27 years, so I'm really throwing down the gauntlet on that one!

I was walking towards my plans for the evening when suddenly it dawned on me that I'm getting on a plane to Los Angeles wednesday. As in this Wednesday, which is a part of this week. The feelings of excitement and sadness that collided in my chest exploded so forcefully they squeezed the air right out of my lungs for a good few seconds. When I finally caught my next breath only the excitement had survived. Thank you Roberto, Life is Beautiful!

Ok, ok, ok, Ariel. Enough of these metaphors and turns of phrase! What, pray tell, is your resolution for 2006, oh superstitious one?????

Well, I did such a good job on the one from 2005, I thought this year I could handle three.

1. Leave a smaller ecological footprint. Hard to do in Los Angeles, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

2. Work towards my passions every day. Whether it is editing, singing, hiking, running, playing ball with the dogs, learning to salsa, whatever- even if somedays that just means taking really good care of myself so that I have the energy to get back on my feet and dance again tomorrow.

3. Be of service. My life is so insanely awesome, I would like to make a difference in the lives of others, too. It is my sincerest hope that this is actually a sub-resolution of #2.

Bonne Année Mes Amis! Je vous aime!

Going Home

It occurred to me today that I haven’t really talked about the fact that I am moving back to Los Angeles in less than a week. I haven’t really explained my reasons for moving back, or talked about the experience, and I’d like to do just that. All my life everything I have attempted, success was pretty much assured. I’m not saying this out of arrogance, but mainly from the fact that I haven’t really done that much in this life that I wasn’t sure I was going to succeed at from the get go, I haven’t really risked failure. I want to sing? Easy! I want to act? Great! I’m going to dance a little, too? No problem! Others may have thought they were taking a risk on me (especially with the dancing) but I knew. I’m not saying I’ve reached some pinnacle of skill or fame from the things I’ve tried in this life, but I’ve enjoyed them, and gotten back often more than I put in.

But the things I had never tried? The things I had often thought about, but wussed out of before they even began? Well... I had been meaning to get around to them, really. Then came Paris. I thought I could just move here and instantly make friends, become fluent in the language, find a job, and make it fit. The only fear and hesitation I ever had about any of it was the fear of failure. To tell everyone about it, to shout it from the rooftops, then to come back to LA? It made me nervous. Truly, when I decided not to try to stay, I felt like I had failed somehow, and it took me weeks to shake the feeling and embrace the blessings.

Blessing number 1- I tried. I came. I didn’t apply to a ton of jobs, I never got the language partner I meant to get, all of my new friends are wonderful, and none of them are french. It doesn’t matter, I did some stuff and it was all a part of the process. And if I had gotten a job, if it fell in my lap, if I got home and got an offer to do what I love anywhere in the world I would take it. If I met the man of my dreams tomorrow and he said we should move to Argentina I would totally go. I learned how cool and really easy it is to do it. I would gladly do it again, and I’m sure I will always look forward to coming back to LA at the end, much as I do now. Also, if there’s a next time for this long or longer, the dogs have to come. It is so hard here without them.

Blessing number 2- Guess what? I’m a grown up! It hit me hard when I got here how much of my life in LA was slipping through the cracks back home. I’ve come a long way in this regard, but there is so much room for improvement. I have ignored a lot thinking it would just work itself out. Oi. I actually look forward to coming back and dealing with this stuff. I get exhausted just thinking about it, too. Maybe it will be less exhausting when I only have to deal with it in little pieces, as it comes, instead of all at once. If I do “run away” again, I will wrap up loose ends better. I kind of think I’m done with the running away though, only running to from now on.

Blessing number 3- I love my job. I really miss it. Surely, part of this is the paycheck. Money makes me happy; I admit it. However, I can’t wait to start working again and I hope to push myself more towards working on independent projects and honing my craft, not just my bank account.

Blessing number 4- Wanderlust. I am going to see the world. A few years ago when I was a waitress or receptionist, and frequently unemployed, and trying to get jobs to fit in with trips I wanted to take, someone I respect told me that it’s only a vacation if you’re taking a break from something. I took it to heart, but now that I have a career I have to remember that if I take a week off between long assignments I will still have work! And it’s not expensive, it is doable, and a flight to Europe doesn’t cost that much more than a flight to Arkansas. I am already making a list. Who wants to dog sit?

I'm sure there's even more, and it's all still hitting me and becoming clear, and sometimes I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE. Especially when I think of how close I am to... oh... everywhere else in Europe. Or when I think about sitting in traffic instead of sitting in the Metro. But then I think about Los Angeles, Spotty, Hops, my amazing friends, my awesome job and the cool people I've worked with, not freezing to death when I run, these are good things. I am happy and excited.

Once More with Talent

When I was in college I had a professor, Lambe Hedge, who was quite fond of using this catchphrase in rehearsals. Tonight, I feel I’ve found her niche. Being that Paris is a rather Christian city and we are but humble tourists, my mother and I decided to book reservations at a dinner cabaret. Nothing says Jesus like sequins and bare breasts. The price was steep, but the expectations were low- at least for dinner. Sadly, dinner may have been the best part. We ordered from the cheap menu and I quite enjoyed the salad with fois gras, the salmon drenched in butter sauce, and the ice cream. It was the act that left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

First of all, let me interrupt by congratulating the sound, set, and costume designers- without you and your support team that delivers daily on your designs my mother and I would have been crawling towards the emergency exit about 3 minutes into the show.

Now, as for the choreography, music, and entertainers- let me just tell you that I think Carnival Cruises is hiring. In fact, ladies- are you 5’10”, a B cup, and able to memorize choreography even if you can’t execute it well? I’ve got the job for you! Actually, it wasn’t completely horrid, thanks to a shared love of sarcasm and verbal abuse my mom and I had a fine time exchanging dialogue about what unfolded before us. The true salvation of the show, however, was an aerialist. I have to say, that for people who think aerialists are boring- try it sometime. I’ve dangled from the trapeze and it will fuck you up! After about 20 minutes of light aerial practice I was sore for three days and it took at least a week for the palms of my hands to heal. Not only was this guy capable, but his isometric strength was some of the best I’ve ever seen. You know how aerialists go into that pike position where their legs are parallel to the ground as they climb up a rope? You know how they normally shake a little? We were close to this guy, maybe 30 feet away and at eye level, and he didn’t even quiver. His stunts were fantastic, even if certain restraints prevented him from going to far, and we were very impressed. His only shortcoming was a cheesy gag at the end of the performance that managed to blend him in with the mediocrity of the rest of the show. At least it provided continuity.

The other “best part” of the show was the finale- a can~can. I have to say for the record that a can~can was done for me at my going away party and it truly surpassed the “professional” can~can I saw tonight. The only really cool part was when one of the women put one leg straight up by her ear and danced around in a circle on the other leg. Dear Bethany, please work on that, I know you can do it.

But please, don’t take my complaining as... well... a complaint. I have been dying to see a cabaret show in Paris and this one had the added bonus of taking place in a theater designed by Gustav Eiffel, architect of the Eiffel Tower. I loved quite a bit of it, and even the snide comments my mom and I shared. Besides, the waiter told me I speak great French, and when we got into a conversation about wine I understood every word he said. Lambe, eat your heart out.

Ireland: At Long Last

Paris is not kidding around with the cold today, so this Irish adventure is brought to you by a north-westerly wind at 15 mph.

Saturday, October 29th, 2005

After a quick flight and a bus ride taking about the same amount of time I arrive at my hotel in Dublin graciously provided by the fine folks at APLA. Few other runners have arrived- since they’re coming from so far away- so I relaxed in the hotel room and waited for Dena to get there. She finally made it in about 10 hours later than expected, but that’s another story about how Dena, one of the smartest people I know, can not read a schedule. After the happy, excited hugs of two friends who haven’t seen each other in a month we tidied up and headed out to the APLA meet ‘n’ greet at a pub in the heart of Dublin. Our whole crew showed up looking a little travel weary, but all jet lag was to be forgotten with the aid of Smithwycks- an excellent Irish lager and companion throughout the journey.

Sunday, October 30th, 2005

Dena, Kate, Arianna, and I headed back towards the river to try and find some breakfast before picking up our race day packets. We decided against the typical blood pudding and went for sandwiches at a mall-like food court. The thing about foreign food in food courts? Still yummy foreign food. After that we took a bus to the Royal something or other and picked up our race chips, bibs, and souvenirs. We got lost on the walk back to the hotel though, so for the rest of the afternoon I was a big whiny baby about how much I had been on my feet the day before a marathon. Wah. To make sure I was rested I spent most of the rest of the day in the following position:

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Yes, that’s me reclined, feet up, and knitting.

That evening we had a pasta dinner to carbo load for marathon day and get us all pumped up. We sat with our training groups and the coaches and site assistants thanked us for our hard work to raise money and gave us last minute info for the day to follow.

Here’s my dead sexy running group:
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Clockwise starting all the way to the left: Tara, Jason, Miguel, Brian, Shara, Kurt, Kate, Arianna, Me, and behind my fat head, Dena.

Monday, October 31st, 2005- Marathon Day

The organizers of the Adidas Dublin Marathon are geniuses, and therefore don’t start the marathon until 9am. After an early breakfast of toast and water (for me at least) Dena and I met with the rest of the AIDS marathoners at our hotel to walk together to the starting line.

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Such a flattering look for me.

The walk over was cold, but otherwise good- until the heavens opened and scads of rain fell down on us. It was like god was playing a practical joke on us idiots. Fortunately, we idiots got the last laugh, as most of us had been provided with trash bags to use as impromptu ponchos. Other people in the crowd were sporting umbrellas, but some people were absolutely soaked to the bone and a little bitchy about it (cough Miguel cough cough). Here’s a picture of the crowd waiting for the start:

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It rained hard for the first hour or so, then lightened to a drizzle, until it finally quit about three hours into the marathon. Of course, later I rode the hotel elevator with the guy who placed 4th overall- so to his mind it was raining the whole time. I was reluctant to let go of my poncho, but eventually I was producing too much heat to keep it on. Here’s a picture of the rain still falling as we ran up a tree lined street- I believe this is somewhere around miles 3-5.

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There was a ton of gorgeous scenery, including the largest enclosed urban park in Europe, Phoenix Park, which is home to the Dublin Zoo and some incredible scenery.

Here’s the entrance to the park around mile 6 or 7:
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And when the sun finally started to come out, even though it was still drizzling:
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I was trying to capture a rainbow, but they're not very photogenic.

The sky at this point was incredible over the lush, rich green of everything. It had a sort of a silver cast to it, far more vibrant than just a grey, rainy sky. At this point we hadn’t yet made it to 10 miles, so we were running a slightly slower ratio than most people in my group were able to run. I was starting to get a little anxious about the rest of the race by this point, though, because I knew they would be speeding up at the 10 mile marker and I hadn’t been training at that speed for some time. However, when we got there I was feeling so great that I decided to go for it for as long as I could- and I did- for 10 miles! By the time we reached the 20 mile marker we had already lost a couple of people, most surprising of them our pace group leader, Kate, who started having horrible knee pain. This is the worst nightmare of race day- you’ve prepared perfectly and without injury then you get there and something goes wrong. It really sucks when it happens, and unfortunately both Kate and Dena experienced a bit of this. Happily, though, they both finished- and your first time out that’s all that really matters. Next time they can’t help but do better because they’ll be prepared for that one more thing to go wrong. So at mile 20 Dena and I split off from the other three remaining who decided they wanted to try and make it in under 5 hours. By then I was tired, but feeling good, and Dena was starting to notice blood on her shoe so we decided to go back down to the adjusted ratio.

We ran together all the way to mile 24. I was out of my mind with pride, as by that point I knew there was no way for my anxious visions of having my worst marathon to come true and because Dena had consistently been faster than me in training. It made me sad we had to split up, but I thought I would be running it in alone from mile 10, not mile 24, so mentally preparing myself at that point was a breeze. I ran alone for almost 2 miles.

Near mile 25 I started to fade a little and even thought of taking an extended walk break when at the exact perfect moment an APLA rep who saw my shirt ran up from the direction of the finish line. He shouted my name and told me to keep going, that I was sooooo close, that I was amazing- all the things that make a woman who has run 25 miles cry, take a deep breath, put her head down, and keep running. I caught up to someone I had run with once in training and we egged each other on until mile 26, but then he too had to fall back or risk stopping- so again I ducked my head and kept going. The last .2 miles the crowd intensified their yelling and I looked at my watch and realized what I was about to do. Tears streamed down my face and with every ounce of my remaining energy I hauled ass and sprinted across that finish line.

5 hours, 12 minutes, 43 seconds. My best time.

On the other side of the finish I was crying so hard they were asking if I needed medical attention. I shook my head and told them through sobs I was just happy. The runner just behind me started laughing and asked if it was my first marathon. No, I said, it’s my third. He laughed even harder and said he hadn’t cried like that since his first. Sometimes I am such a girl, I love it.

I waited for others I had left behind on the course and we took pictures with our medals:
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From L to R: Tara, Me, Kate, Dena

After the marathon we took the longest, coldest walk in the history of the universe back to the hotel. Not one of us brought cash and we froze to death. Our hotel was less than a mile from the finish line and it took us over an hour to make it back. After a very long stretch and a longer shower we got ready and, believe it or not, went out for beer. We went back to the same pub where we had our meet ‘n’ greet the first time so that we could exchange war stories and drink out some of the leftover pain. We also decided it's true what they say about not being able to get drunk after a marathon. I noticed after the first 3 or 4 pints that I wasn't even remotely buzzed- and that's usually over my limit!

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From L to R: Kurt, Magan, Jason, Shara, Brian, Dena (shorty), Miguel, Kate, Me.

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005

As you may guess- we did very little Tuesday. Since long walks are a big part of recovery, we spent most of the day doing that (really slowly). We saw this very cool statue of Oscar Wilde reclining in the park across the street from his former home:

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We also went to the National Art Museum, which was free because the Irish know what they're doing. It was pretty good- I absolutely fell in love with this one contemporary artist who would paint fairly realistic scenes, but with unrealistic colors. Sometimes the painting would be completely skewed towards one color, other times certain elements were highlighted. I really like that. We also got a good laugh out of trying to go up and down the stairs without looking like total bafoons.

As the topper- we were lucky enough to get a private tour of Irish Parliament, since Dena knows the son of the former mayor of Dublin. I have to say I got a big kick out of the tour, even though we couldn’t take pictures. The building itself was once a private residence to someone obviously very wealthy from all the plaster decorations on the ceiling and walls and architectural details. Our tour guide made a lot of references to Ireland gaining it’s independence from the British, and evidently they’re big fans of JFK there since he was the first American president to address Irish Parliament in their house. He also returned to them the flag of an infantry of soldiers who fought with the colonies against the British for our freedom in the War of Independence. They have the flag hanging there. Who knew I’d have to go to Ireland to learn something about American History? Actually... probably anyone who knows how bad I am on the subject.

Dena and I went out that night for the requisite fish and chips, then met up with Kate for a little drinky drinky time before setting off on our road trip the next day.

Coming soon: Ireland 2: Dena’s Revenge

This has nothing to do with Paris

So to make it up to you here's a pretty picture I took of the Grand Palais:

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Now I have a startling admission to make. The OC doesn't suck. For years I've resisted it's call as many of my (admittedly much younger) friends have tried to convince me of the allure. Literally years- since the beginning. Sometimes I decide I'm not going to like something before I have even tried it as much as I hate to admit it- hell, I just realized I like broccoli, too. But seriously, who didn't see this coming? Angsty teen drama? Over the top fantasy romance? Occasional wittiness? It was inevitable. Right now I'm halfway through the second season and loving Seth and Summer, whereas I am ambivalent in regards to Marissa and Ryan even though it's obvious they're going to get back together at some point. I did watch 90210, it's not a new plot line. I especially like the way they constantly make really obvious pop culture references by way of flat out imitation- the biggest example of which being the Spiderman kiss scene, but there have been many other examples.

Now please, no spoilers. In my little bubble of reference Seth and Summer have just gotten back together, Lindsay is gone, Marissa is about to break up with Alex, Sandy and Kirsten are just getting back to normal, Julie is being bribed about porno, Billy Campbell has just arrived on the scene, and Caleb is suddenly kind of nice. It's like Days of our Lives with a little less of the shame. A very little.

Paris by night

Night time in Paris is my favorite time. The buildings, often uniformly white or stone rise above me and at their crest a luminous deep blue sky provides a backdrop to swiftly moving grey clouds. You know that somewhere the moon is out, but she is hidden beneath the layers of charcoal hazing swirling past. I think of the camera in my pocket and I realize that the skill to capture this beauty is beyond me, perhaps beyond anyone. So breathe the scene in fully and try hard to remember.

There is so much to see in Paris, and everything looks different still by night, yet my favorite scenes play out above me walking down the alleys of my neighborhood. Although, it is unwise to call anything here my favorite. The next beautiful moment will replace this one until it too is surpassed. Maybe it is best to say that Paris is beautiful and leave it at that, but those words will never describe it, they are too easy to read and agree with and let your mind move on too quickly to fully comprehend.

Harry Potter et la Coupe de Feu

After weeks of avoiding spoilers about it online, the new Harry Potter finally opened in France yesterday and tonight Margaux and I went to go see. I really enjoyed it, and am surprised by how quickly the actors are growing up. I've never really liked Daniel Radcliffe, but I can't quite put my finger on it. He's fine, there's just something deep and unrevealed in my subconcious that is...uncomfortable... with him. On the other hand I find Emma Watson completely lovely and the supporting cast of adults is always superb.

Having also read the most recent book, of course, I found it interesting to go back in time to this earlier episode and see the beginnings of what's to come, what really turns Harry into who he becomes. It was especially funny though to enjoy the French reaction, since most of the audience appeared to have been native. Their reactions to the french stereotypes regarding femininity and especially accents entertained them greatly and I sensed that they were laughing instinctively at many things before they even fully played out on screen.

It's rare that as an adult you go to see a film that is supposedly geared for a younger audience surrounded only by other adults and hear people squealing with delight that the film is starting. Ah, nerds, my people.

Then coming home I fell up the stairs of the Métro and now I have a nasty goose egg on my knee. I'm a total klutz, but this is the first time in a while that I fell so hard it actually took me a minute to recover- first my senses, then my ability to stand, then my ability to walk normally. But by the time I got home I was fine, just a little banged up. There was a moment on the stairs where visions of my 8-mile run planned for Saturday danced in front of my eyes- like a life at it's end! My melodramatic paranoia had me instantly, briefly depressed that I would not be able to run. What is wrong with me? Shouldn't I jump for joy at having an excuse not to run? But how can I resist the call of the path past le Tour Eiffel when it is all dressed up for the holidays?

December

Holy Shit! It's December! I only have 34 days left in Paris! I haven't yet become a fluent french speaker! I haven't seen La Defense! I've only been to one Museum! I haven't taken enough annoying American tourist photos! I haven't inadvertantly asked for something disgusting to eat! There is so much to be done and seen and experienced- I don't want to leave! But I do! Damn you Paris, why are you so cool? Damn you Los Angeles, why do I miss you so much?