Femme on Fire

I'll have another

So seriously, I want to know who thought that the second margarita at lunch was a good idea today. Usually I do not go in for the middle of the day drinking, but my work today is mindless at best due to a system malfunction that wiped away our media last night, and we're saying good bye to someone I've know for a few years. Why not have one?

But who ordered that second damn margarita?

I suppose it is now my punishment to be the severely buzzed girl surrounded by sober, conscientious co-workers. Thank jehovah that I have a four day weekend to recover. Curse jehovah that I start tomorrow with a six mile run.

Time to clean

Until I had a boyfriend and a roommate, I had a butcher block filled with knives. Since then two have gone missing- a steak knife was the first to go- a chopping knife went quite recently. I'm fairly certain the chopping knife was in the dishwasher when I took notice of it's absence, but it has been weeks since I saw the steak knife around.

In the middle of thinking about it I realized that perhaps I should try cleaning out my car.

Vegas: Why didn't anyone tell me???

I. LOVE. Vegas. Love it. It's is like disneyland for adults. It is dirty and sexy and hot and noisy and smokey and smelly and I love it. Cocktail waitresses wear theme outfits. They break into dance in the middle of a shift. People get married on Pirate boats. Seriously. I need to go to Vegas all the time.

This past weekend Rick and I's friend Jen turned 30 and that's about how many of us went to celebrate. Most of us, including me, stayed at the Flamingo, which is awesome. Just the facade of the Flamingo is beautiful and historical and makes you feel like the rat pack might be around any corner. That's where Wayne Newton performs for crying out loud. We left early Friday before most of our crowd and managed to settle into the hotel and have a romantic dinner at the Japanese restaurant downstairs before everyone arrived. After dinner we grabbed frozen drinks from the bar near the entrance of our hotel and took advantage of the lack of open container law to beat the astounding nighttime heat. Once we were all collected we headed down to Fremont Street, the real old Vegas, where you're sure to find a light show, cheap frozen drinks by the yard, and maybe a

The irony of this picture is really that my top is on.

To me Fremont Street is all about Cool World, so I was thrilled to recognize something other than the cowgirl above glitter gulch (even though she is way cool, and as soon as I find my camera cord you will get to see a picture of what I'm talking about). Fremont on Friday also included the only gambling I did the entire weekend. I put a dollar- not even my dollar- into a penny slot machine and even got the total up to 200 credits before I realized that in order to collect my winnings I had to redeem a ticket and that seemed like a lot of work. So I kept pulling that slot lever until it was all gone. Woo. Gambling is fun.

The next morning Rick and I ventured sans mob to Treasure Island for the buffet. I was not at all looking forward to the buffet, since they remind me of cafeteria's and I hate cafeterias, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Dishes is quite a swanky, well decorated place with delicious food. The pictures in the link don't do either justice. I had all the breakfast greats (including mimosas) and just because it's a buffet, and I could, I had pulled pork as well. I'm obsessed with BBQ right now.

After breakfast we met everyone in a shady spot of the pool and had tropical drinks while birthday girl Jen took the slide to the grotto a few times. I got to wear my superhot new swimsuit that I'm crazy in love with, and we all burned the bottoms of our feet walking to the drinks area. At one point I thought I was sunburned even though I was wearing 55 spf, but after being indoors for awhile it turned out that it was only the 105 degree heat that was turning me colors. That night was our banner event, celebrating Jen's dirty thirty at Margaritaville. Everyone turned out looking fabulous and we whiled away the hours drinking the most amazing Margaritas (obviously) on an outdoor deck on the top floor. Next up was an Irish bar at New York, New York where they had my favorite Irish beer, Smithwicks. Ahhhhhhh, Smithwicks, nice to see you old friend.

After my old friend and I got reacquainted I fell down the stairs. Not a lot of them, just the last four, and I managed to save myself major damage because I know how clumsy I am and was therefore holding the handrail. Just as I stabilized myself a helpful gentleman at the bottom reached out and said, "Are you ok?" That's when I berated him for being "5 minutes too late." Ahhhhh, Smithwicks, we're a classy pair. Although, I did learn an important lesson- if you want to get hit on, fall down the stairs. Then, when someone rushes to your aid, be mean and unappreciative. I made sure to pass on this tidbit to all the single ladies.

That's pretty much when Rick and I stumbled out of there, but I hear everyone else had a great time.

Sunday, or as I like to call it, hangover day, meant early checkout unfortunately, and we hurried to get out and get our stuff to the lobby by 11. Only to have to wait a couple of hours for everyone else who somehow managed to extend their stays to noon. Bastards. Starving we finally gathered the masses and headed to "Las Vegas' best buffet" which I kind of thought sucked compared to TI. Although, that could be because of the extremely slow lines caused by the horribly inefficient ticketing system. After waiting for everyone to get ready and waiting in the line, I was starving and I really didn't care about the food.

Seeing as I had to work that night, we took off right after that, soaring through blissfully little traffic and stopping only for dinner and some fun in Yermo on the way back. But now I can't wait to go back. I want to plan the "Dirty Vegas tour" to see all the awesome burlesque shows there.

Back on the Horse

Monday I saw the most perfect house for me. It is beautiful, with tons of character, a great yard, a huge master suite, thoroughly rentable non-master bedrooms, and a fireplace. But because of my current situation with my buyers and because it's going into multiples, I won't be a contender. My only hope remaining is that they go into escrow, have their inspection done, and it falls out for one reason or another. By then I will have dependable money on the sale of my house to offer, more that 50% of what they're asking, and I'll be able to sweep in and take it. According to my agent, there's a 50/50 chance of that. I'm preparing for the fact that it won't happen.

And yes, I did cry about it.

But it's Wednesday now, and it's time to start looking again. I believe in fate, the right house is out there.

I have done 11 of these things

Because Jessica is funnier than average.

Fill in numbers instead of Xs. Cut and paste with "I have done # of these things" in the cut tag.

I Have Done  of These Things

[ ] I have a twin.
[1 ] I have moved across the country, to a city both more glamourous and more confusing than the previous one.
[ ] I have an unseemly attachment to my overly long sideburns.
[ ] I drive or have driven a car with a vanity license plate indicating that it has eaten a lesser car.
[ ] I have or had a tendency to wear men's ties, or body suits.
[ ] I decided I was going to wait until marriage to have sex.
[ ] I changed my mind about that.
[ ] I offered my virginity to my crush on a merry-go-round and he turned me down.
[ ] I accidentally dated a bigot.
[ ] I live or have lived alone at the Bel Age Hotel.
[2 ] I work or have worked at the local hamburger joint.
[ ] I work or have worked at the local hamburger joint in costume.
[ ] I was held up at the local hamburger joint and then had PTSD for about a week.
[ ] I was the DJ of my high school radio station.
[ 3] My high school had a radio station.
[ ] I was addicted to diet pills.
[ ] I was addicted to crystal meth, but only because I was so busy.
[4 5 6 ] I had a stalker.
[ ] My stalker moved in with me, copied my hair cut, tried to steal my boyfriend and then attempted to murder me, but make it look like suicide.
[ ] I have been in a burning building.
[ ] I have been in a burning building with a lesbian who later developed a crush on me, while I was trying to recover from my very stressful yet not at all visible burns.
[7 ] I have been on the cover of a magazine or newspaper.
[ ] My mom decided she was a lesbian, but only after dating my girlfriend's father, the chancellor of my university.
[ ] I dated someone who later, like, totally trashed this awesome float I was making for homecoming.
[ ] I eventually briefly got back together with the person who trashed my float, despite her terrible haircut at the time.
[ ] I have eaten a Mega Burger.
[8 ] I've been to France.
[ ] I've impersonated a French person in France.
[ ] I've found out that someone I thought was dead in fact faked his death and is just in the Witness Protection Program.
[ ] My little sister turned into a streetwalking prostitute with a pimp named the distinctly non-threatening "Riggs."
[ ] I've been in a cult.
[ ] I have broken up with someone to the tune of  "Losing My Religion."
[ ] I have worn the same dress as one of my friends to an important event, like the prom.
[9 ] Despite my mistakes, I have graduated.
[10 ] I have told someone I hate them and instructed them never to speak to me again.
[ ] I have had past-life regression indicating that I lived in the Old West.
[11 ] I have attempted to purchase an egg.
[ ] I have fooled around or slept with: my RA; my advisor's wife; my high school drama teacher; my best friend's boyfriend; my girlfriend's best friend; someone in my employ (although she was a sex columnist); the doctor I had in rehab; a guy I met at the laundromat, despite being already married; someone named Stuart; the child of the man I thought ordered a hit on my Dad; a skanky chick who works at my record label; and/or Steve Sanders.
[ ] I have chosen myself.