Femme on Fire

And so it is...

So it's over. A difficult, but innocent, conversation last night turned into an amicable agreement for him to move out. I have a strong urge to eat brownies for breakfast and watch "Closer."

I am hurting. But I am surprised by how little I'm hurting. The source of my pain comes from knowing that all the things I want, that I hoped for with him, are just that much further from happening. I like being a part of a couple, I will miss it. But I am trying to remember to take my time. There's no need to rush back into a relationship without taking time to process what I've learned in this one. I'm going to try, for once, to let life unfold at it's own natural pace.

Prouderer

So then I went to job #2 tonight. I'm blurring advertisements in the background of a show I did editing on pre-taping of the main body of the show. The editing I did was for half the cast to watch and was regarding the other half of the cast. So as I was looking for the offending advertisements I came across the section where what I edited was being watched. Cue pride swell. Again. Awww... look what I done!

Pride

So all of this whining about computer shenanigans this week has been because of my new job, filling in for an editor on a craft show. For my week I was given the task of cutting one four-act show. This has resulted in a minimum amount of work- and a maximum level of eye rolling and boredom. No, this is not the most genius show ever, but there have been challenging moments. I cut my first montage! I had to find usable music! I had to make this stuff interesting!

But today, after all my stretching, sighs, and flat out time-wasting, I put the acts all together into one cut. And I looked at my show, all put together like that, and I felt a surge of happy pride! I did that. I made all of those cuts! I edited a WHOLE SHOW! I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself now, even if it isn't the final product, and even if I won't be the one who gets to finish it. Go me.

Photographic Evidence

Whoa, I lied in that survey. I said my weight was the same as this time last year, then I saw this:

28th Birthday:

29th Birthday:

I'm pretty sure part of that is an awkward pose, but woah!

Year in Review

While my work computer is acting all crazy, I'll do a little survey. Courtesy of Heather.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I moved in with a significant other, I went to Italy, I got paid to be an editor.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not all of them unfortunately, I never got around to volunteering, but it's in the works for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend, Cynthia, and it's a crying shame, but I've yet to meet her adorable little one (although I hear stories from her "Uncle Phil"). From all reports and pictures she gorgeous and wonderful.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, fortunately.
.
5. What countries did you visit?
France & Italy

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Massive amounts of time spent with friends new and old. Personal balance.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 1st, I took ownership of my new house in Venice!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Definitely getting my first editing gigs (however brief) and buying a house worth a lot more than anyone my age should be spending on a home.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Spending time fretting over or making nice to people who just don't deserve it from me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a lot of running pain, but I'm working really hard to get in better shape on and off the race course.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My house and my car! Wow! Two big purchases in one year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My best friends, for being them, my mother, for taking a lingering bull in her life by the horns (and dragging me onto the bandwagon with her), my sister, for beginning the long journey into adulthood, and strangely, an ex who has become a very good friend.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The people in my life who act like that have been doing it for so long that I just try not to let it bother me.

14. Where did most of your money go?
My house and my car.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Rick. Vegas. Yermo. My house. My car. Coming home to LA. Venice, Italy. Galileo. Tandy moving to LA. Tandy getting married. Tandy getting pregnant. Tandy's been busy. Seeing my dogs after being away for the end of 2005. Selling my old house. Finding work so close to home. My 10 year high school reunion. Performing frequently.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
"Dick in a Box" (me too, Heather).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? both
ii. thinner or fatter? The same, but not for long.
iii. richer or poorer? In assets or money in the bank?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I can't really think of anything.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying.

20. How did you be spend Christmas?
We had people over and Rick made Italian food.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Heroes, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Veronica Mars, Nip/Tuck

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of books, I loved them all, and I can't remember one damn title!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Firewater. Link Wray. Cristina Aguilera.

28. What did you want and get?
A house, a car, a boyfriend, a computer, a bike... I was a spoiled, spoiled brat this year. I got just about everything I wanted.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Brick.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28 waaaaaaaaaaay back in January 06 and I went with a bunch of friends to a great restaurant that has Sushi and amazing martinis! In one place!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the lottery.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Everyday Sexy.

34. What kept you sane?
Running.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't normally fancy celebs, I just like reading the gossip.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Global Warming/Pollution, the war on "Terror", the ongoing debate over beginning of life/end of life issues, and the fall of checks and balances.

37. Who did you miss?
Akisha.

38. Who were the best new people you met?
Obviously, Rick. 2007 is evidently the year of meeting people, as everyone who popped immediately to mind I have met in the last few weeks.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Sometimes people are just incompatible at the most basic level. It just is what it is.

40. What was your favorite moment of the year?
The whole trip back from Vegas with Rick.

41. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
November 11th. A fight I may never forget.

42. Where were you when 2006 began and who were you with?
I was in Paris, on Montmartre watching fireworks with Tami, Manning, Courtney, and Agnes! It was incredibly wonderful!!!!

43. Where were you when 2006 ended and who were you with?
I was at home with many of the wonderful people I've become unexpectedly closer to in the last year.

44. How many different states did you travel to in 2006?
Florida, Indiana, Nevada.

45. How many concerts did you see in 2006?
Paul Simon!!!!!!!!!! I have always loved him, and now, thanks to Jen, I've seen him live!

Planning Ahead

Does anyone want to go with me to SXSW? I've always wanted to go, but I've never actually, you know, planned in advance of March 2nd. I need a travel companion. We could road trip, fly together, meet there. Think about it. I'm fun. And pretty. And I smell like cookies.

Productivity

I have a new job which starts at 6am. It's my second day, and since I happily haven't completely stopped working for my other company, I'm a little tired. However, my fatigue isn't impacting my workflow. Which doesn't mean it's not being impeded! Here's what I have done so far this morning:

5:15 Wake up, get ready
5:35 Go out to car to find it covered in ice. Start car and sit around waiting for the heater to melt the ice enough that my windshield wipers can push ice off. Ponder last time I owned a window scraper- 8 years ago in Missouri.
5:45 Starbucks
6:10 Get into work. Fire up computer. Spend about an hour waiting for the computer to startup properly.
7:15 Start working. Work for about 10 minutes when computer starts scanning drives again. Wait another 45 minutes.
8:05 Start working again. Need to tell program to find something. Program crashes. Restart computer again.
8:20 Start working AGAIN. Get some actual work done. Program crashes AGAIN.
8:40 Start typing stupid blog entry about my ridiculous morning.

I blame the PCs. I always work on Macs and I don't have these problems. That is to say those problems occur with lesser frequency. Back to work.

Down for the Count

Today, during my second day of the most incredible class in corset contruction, I went and grabbed a bite of food from the coffee shop across the way. It was DELICIOUS. Mmmmm... tasty. Until about a half hour later when all the fun began. Suddenly I was exhausted, fuzzy headed, bloated, and... sorry to say it... not doing any favors to those breathing the air around me. It seems most definite that I have acquired a food allergy. After the teacher pointed out how quiet and confused I had become I stopped work and tried to just absorb as much information as possible.

But now I'm unsure of how to proceed. There was nothing in my lunch that I haven't eaten before. And to be honest, I didn't have any reaction that I haven't had to a lesser degree before. But I've never felt so incredibly bad and I can't single out the food that caused it. What I ate was an "egg jumble." It was scrambled eggs, red and white onions, garlic, parmesan, spinach, and tomatoes. It was cooked in butter, and there was a side of sourdough toast, which I also indulged in. Here are the likely culprits:

1. Onions. I've commented before that green onions make the roof of my mouth itch, but no itchiness today. I've also noticed a little bloat when eating raw onions, but never to this extent, and never when they're cooked.

2. Garlic. I would be so depressed if this were truly the cause. Garlic is good for you, right? But like onions, I have noticed a little bloating at times when I eat foods containg garlic- but how do I know it's actually the garlic causing it?

3. Butter. I almost never eat the real thing. Rick is allergic, so when I use it at home it's always Vegan substitute. But surely I've had it in other foods when I go out? For that matter the parmesan could be to blame as well. Maybe I'm becoming lactose intolerant? But then, why doesn't the daily skim milk in my decaf bother me?

4. Eggs. I used to think I was allergic to eggs. I would always get sick when I ate them and I stopped eating them in college. Then a couple of years ago I wanted to test it out, so I made some eggs for myself and I was fine. No problems at all. This leads me back to butter, because I'm sure the eggs I was eating in college were soaked in them.

What do you think? How does one really figure out what they're allergic to in their food?

DIY: Pooch Shoot

After months of saying I would, I finally installed the doggie door last week. I think the pictures speak for themselves:

Measure twice, cut once. Or three times. You know, it's hard to make things level and square.

I had to take some breaks. It was surprisingly hard to push the jigsaw through the thickness of the door. That sounds vaguely dirty.

You can see the side wall of my yard! And the dead vines! And if you had a magnifying glass you would see the strange proliferation of ants that crawl around my property.

The wood is stained for weather protection, and the door is hung, but the inside panel doesn't fit right. More work is needed. When I'm not feeling quite so lazy.

True to form, and just like at the old house, Spotty was immediately willing to use the door, but Hops took a few days to convince. Spotty actually went outside though another door I had left open while I was working, and came to watch me from the outside while I stained the wood. For the first couple of days he would whine to be let out, but then I would remind him of the doggy door and he would obediently leap through it. Hops ultimately had to be shoved through it a couple of times, but once he had it figured out he took advantage of his freedom by going in and out and in and out and in, then he would run in to the living room and look at me, then he would run out again. Repeat ad nauseum within in the span of 10 minutes. Then repeat those 10 minutes throughout the day about 40 times.

Next up: Wallpaper glue removal. Oooooooooooh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah. Maybe if you're real good I'll take pictures of the new paint in the living room. Try not to wet yourselves with glee.

Deep Sleep

I'm not a wakey wakey kind of person. I don't jump out of bed. So this morning, while I had yet only managed to brush one cobweb out of my sleepy brain, I tried to move over a little only to have one appendage fail to respond. I had apparently been sleeping on my left arm to the point of its death. We had passed the pins and needles long ago.

So in order to expedite my comfortability (and the return of blood to lefty) I lifted my left arm with my right arm and rolled onto the other side. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! It felt so weird! It was like touching a corpse arm attached to my body. Not only could I not move my left arm, I couldn't feel it either. Hibbidibbiwhat?

Shortly thereafter feeling did return, but now as I prepare to embark upon sleep once more, I am reminded of the creepiness. Zombie Arm! GUH!